No matter how small a class is, there’s always gotta be one annoying person. It’s an unwritten rule and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Well this one guy in my class whom I’ll refer to as DAK (Dorky Asian Kid) likes to clap awkwardly loud when the instructor shows us something new. DAK also loves to follow up with a “ohhhhh ahhhhh great great! Me first, me first!” Anyways, I have nothing against him! I just thought I’d point out that my class has only FOUR people and the chances of me landing a DAK was slim. DAK also kicked my thigh without a “sorry” while we were treading water and this was perhaps the start of my animosity.
Moving on, we learned two basic skills that should be part of any swimmer’s arsenal. We learned how to dive from the edge of the pool (first sitting, kneeling, then standing) and learned the proper way to kick during a breast stroke. (I hope my site doesn’t turn up as a porn site in search engine results. I said breast stroke, not stroking a breast)
HOW TO DIVE
- Get in streamlined position.
- Chin down facing water. Tilt your body way forward and use one leg to thrust into water.
- Make sure your head is lower than your leg to avoid a BELLY FLOP.
Watching a young kid belly flop isn’t funny. Watching a teenager belly flop is kind of funny. Watching a fat person belly flop is funny. Watching an older fat person belly flop is hilarious.
There’s a nice older Korean lady in my group. I’d say she’s around 50 years old and she reminds me of my mother. On her attempt to dive she belly flopped so hard, half the pool stopped to see if she was OK! She got out of the pool laughing hysterically and said in broken english, “ohhh so hod!!” *
* hod = hard
In light of the Olympics, I gave her a 10.0 on form, height, and landing — it was flawless.
HOW NOT TO DIVE